The other day, one of my sons was excited to notice I had chosen to dress him in a red shirt with a tractor on the front. Before I could get the shirt over his head, he uttered a couple of pre-verbal squeals, pointed at the tractor, then slid off the bed and ran toward the living room with great purpose.
“Now where in the world is he off to?” I wondered. Rather than follow him, I decided to wait and see. I listened to the sounds of building blocks scuttling across the floor and a bit of rummaging in the toy box, until finally he came barreling back down the hall with an object clutched in his hands. And then he proudly pointed to the tractor on the shirt again and set his own red tractor on top of it.
It’s not the first time this has happened. In fact, lately I’ve found it difficult to get through a story with the boys, as one or the other is running off to find a toy that matches some image in the book. It’s hard to turn a page when it’s stacked with cars and balls and bears.
As cute as this new pastime is, it has also led to some frustration on my part. You see, I’m a bookish sort and I really want my boys to enjoy reading as much as I do. I want to be able to snuggle down with them and actually read all the words of the story and turn the pages in the correct order.
But that isn’t happening, and I’m starting to think I’ve read too many Amazon reviews of picture books—you know, the ones that say, “My ten-month-old adores this book and asks for it every night!” and “My baby is barely one year old and loves nothing more than discussing the themes and artistic interpretation of The Very Hungry Caterpillar over a bottle of sparkling cider!”
Nope. Not in my house. We’re at twenty-two months and still stacking tractors on coverless books with sticky, dog-eared, teeth-marked pages. That’s not to say the kids don’t ask to read books, because they do so all the time—they just aren’t reading them the way I want them to.
And admitting that fact led me to a new realization: maybe my kids just aren’t auditory learners. And why should they be? I’m a visual and kinesthetic (hands-on) learner myself, so why should I expect something else from them?
That’s when I started really looking at how they are experiencing the world. I’ve known for months that my son C feels better when he has something to hold onto, whether it be one of his precious cars or a can of tomatoes. At the beach, he’s content for hours just sifting sand through his hands into a shoe or a bucket. He’s the tractor stacker of the family.
My son L, on the other hand, is more of an observer. He watches children’s shows and music videos with a furrowed brow, as if deciphering what all those movements and sounds could possibly mean in the grander scheme of things. He’s the joker and the romantic, reveling in our reactions to his pranks and never missing an opportunity to point out the moon.
I know it may be silly to be concerned about my sons’ literary development at such a young age—and knowing that I am solely responsible for teaching them the English language surely doesn’t help. That’s a lot of words to read and spell!
Where do I even begin?
When it comes to teaching—not just my kids, but any kids of any age who aren’t learning as we believe they should be learning—I really think that sometimes the way to begin is to STOP. Stop worrying about “getting all the teaching done.” Stop going left when the student is going right. Stop forcing the square peg into the round hole.
If we allow ourselves to be still for just a little while—long enough to observe how each child interacts with the world—we might just unlock the secret to how that child learns best. And once we know that, we can make our teaching appealing, understandable, and unforgettable.
It’s too early to tell for sure what kind of learners my sons will be. But it’s not too early to let them explore the world with all their senses. If I watch closely enough, I’ll eventually understand whether they are auditory, visual, or kinesthetic learners—and then I’ll know what path to take to make learning all those thousands of words an exhilarating experience.
In the meantime, they can stack tractors and point at moons all they want. And for my part…no more Amazon reviews.
About Renée LaTulippe
This is great encouragement for not having to get my little ones to always sit still for stories!
My oldest sits perfectly still; my second fidgets and the third well . . . he is everywhere unless it is a book by Richard Scarry. He loves the pictures! I suspect b/c there is so much to look at on the colorful pages.
Good reminder to step back and watch!
I love this article. I wish I would have read something like this 7 years ago when my oldest was little.
My third child, who is 3, is my tricky one. I have found that giving her more opportunities to choose the book helps tremendously with her attentiveness. And I constantly have to remind myself that it is never helpful to compare my child to another’s, though it can be so tempting to do so.
Love this article!!
I love this article.
Jane
Thank you for this reminder. I have 2 auditory learnings, but my 2nd child is a wiggler. I have yet to figure out how he learns best. (wiggling doesn’t seem to work either, as it distracts him).
I can relate, my son will not sit still for very many books. However, it is an ABC book he’ll gladly sit by himself to “read it” (point and say all of letters/sounds). However, after reading this my little light bulb has gone off and I’m starting to see the connection between his visual and auditory learning abilities. I’ll have to sit back and observe a bit longer before I make my final assessment. Thanks for sharing.
It’s awesome the God has created us all uniquely. Why would we even think we would learn in a “cookie-cutter” fashion when we are all so specially created?! It helps us Moms to grow when we learn to see our children through God’s eyes instead of expecting them to be like us or their siblings or those around us.
So when a child starts to push against one type of learning in a multisensory approach is it ok to pull back on that and go ahead with the other senses? I struggle to determine how much (if any) is her not being diligent & obedient and what is simply going against her learning style and therefore causing undue frustration with my 7 year old.
It sometimes goes to show you that as educators we need to just go with the our children’s lead and be flexible….even though it’s extremely difficult at times. Great article!
I have also been learning lately that they way I learn best is the way I tend to teach, but that isn’t always what is best for my kids. Sometimes finding a new way to do something also helps me learn something new about my kids and they way they learn.
When she was younger, my daughter really disliked math manipulatives. Rather than continuing to frustrate her, I lightened up on the math manipulatives. I still used the manipulatives for demonstration purposes, but I didn’t require her to use them in the lesson. We were both much happier that way! I was happy because she received the benefit of seeing a concrete demonstration, and she was happy because the demo was short and she didn’t have to do the hands-on activities. Hope that helps!
This is interesting to me . . . as I’m fast tracking through AAS my guys (8 & 10) aren’t interested in the tiles – but a dry erase board with a blue and red pen, you bet!! So, I put the tiles on the board and they copy as needed. Granted, we’re still in the “review stage of stuff they already know” and I’m just making sure they DO know it. We do 2 lessons a day most days . . .
I love hearing about their excitement! I learned early on not to “type” my children as one type of learner or another. Just when I would think I had them pegged, they would fool me! My son did not like math manipulatives when he was younger, but has loved using them with pre-algebra and algebra! My daughter didn’t like read-alouds when she was younger, but I kept reading to both of my kids, and kept looking for visual and kinesthetic ways to draw her in, and now she enjoys read-alouds without those extra aids. I’m glad I kept reading to her even though it was a struggle because it strengthened her ability to learn through auditory means and has had huge impacts on reading, writing, vocabulary, comprehension, and so on.
This was a really great post to read. As someone who loves to read and wants to just sit and enjoy a story with my little ones I find it very hard when when they want to stop every few seconds to talk about a picture or go back a page to read it again.
The lesson here is to remember to go at the kids pace and remember it’s all about time together and letting them lead!
My 2 sons, ages 4 and almost 6 (will be 6 next month), love reading! When my first son was born, I’d rock him at night and read a book. At times, I’d even put a book in his crib for when he’d wake up. Next morning, I’d find him sitting up looking at that book say “book, book.” He can now read quite well. My youngest loves to crawl up in someone’s lap to hear them read. They both are also the kind to ask ALOT of questions! Whew. :)
Our first daughter would sit on our laps and “read” books with us for hours. Our next daughter wanted nothing to do with that…she wanted to be down playing. So, we would read to our eldest and allow the next one to play in the same room. Eventually she started coming over to look at the pictures occasionally as she played, until she finally would even sit to hear a book! Now she is 5, and loves it when we read to her, and is doing well with reading, although with a different learning style than her sister. :) Our son has gone and gotten cars to match the pictures, just like yours!
Great reminder to really observe the child & how the learn. I get so excited when something works for one child and I start to think I’ve got it figured out…it doesn’t take long before I’m reminded that each of my kids is unique & has their own way of doing things. It’s my job to accomodate that & yet challenge them to try new things from time to time b/c they are ever changing!
Good point that all kids are going to be different. I have a 10 year old who gets bored with the redundant fill in the blank questions that I ask her. I wonder if I need to try something different with her. I also have a 7 month old and it will be interesting to see what direction he takes. I will have to be careful not to assume he will learn like his sister.
Thanks for the words of wisdom, Merry! Sometimes I keep reading while they’re running around or screaming for another book, but it does get frustrating. I’m trying to keep calm and be patient, and as another commenter said, just follow their lead. Great to know that plowing on through had such great benefits for your daughter!
I love reading the blogs & articles week. You are all like a learning coach for me! Thank you for the insights & great information.
Thank you for this! I really love your articles.
Blessings, April
http://www.momentswithapril.com
I loved this post! It seems like I cannot read to my non-reading 6 year old without him making some kind of “machinery” noise, while his reading 7 year old sister becomes exasperated. With him, I learned that if he colors while I read, he is much happier, and even listens better.
Wish I had known that two years ago :-)
This is a great aritcle. I really need to remember to slow down and pay more attention to not just what they are learning but HOW they are learning it. Thanks for sharing.
great reminder for me not to compare. my now 4 year old—at 2 1/2 was recognizing words and able to write letters. My 2 1/2 year old son now, cant do any of that and i can barely get him to sit for a story. I know my 4 year old was way advanced….but my younger son has some strengths the older one doesnt. He is getting better at story time, thank goodness! :)
*kelly
Great article. A good reminder that each child learns differently regardless of our plans as parents/teachers.
I just recently read a wonderful blog post written by Carisa at 1+1+1=1 about following the child’s lead and not comparing children. Here is the link if you are interested in reading it. I love it when children make connections as we read even though the disruptions can be problematic or frustrating at times. Alyssa used to stop story time ALL the time and run to get things or say something about what we were reading (she was very verbal and descriptive). I LOVED it and it didn’t slow her down one bit. I think it helped her understand what she was reading better and it definitely helped her experience the world she is living in. So, I followed her lead. I also did the same thing mentioned from a reader above … I gave her choices. She would always choose how many and which books to read until the day she stacked books in a pile almost as tall as she was at that point. That’s when I decided to have her roll a large die for the number of books to be read and still let her choose the books. I also had a box with a lid and inside was a treasure or souvenir related to the story. I would often bring an item for her to hold that might be on the cover or shown throughout the story. I always read the story first (glancing quickly or distracting her for a moment) and thought now what might Alyssa be thinking at this point. I have been known to move the items closer to the reading area that day so that when connections were made they were quicker and the item was within view. I am not sure if this makes sense or not. LOL! This article was inspiring for us all. Thank you! All children do learn differently and it may be different from how we like to teach or learn ourselves. I believe in watching and listening to your child – you can learn so much!!!
thanks for this, my 2 year old twins don’t read books the way my older daughter did at this age.
Welcome to my world. I have no choice for to STOP with my son. My daughter would sit for HOURS at just 6 months old as we poured over book after book after book. My son did not sit still for a book (or a diaper change, well, ever for that) until he was 2 or 3 and even then it wasn’t consistent. What helps? Ziggy has helped a lot. Super short bursts of “learning” activities instead of one long session, acceptance. With this approach though, he is making progress and is happy and he is learning from all his moving and building and furniture gymnastics all the time.
This article, along with the memory articles that Marie is writing, has given me renewed ideas on how to make information stick with my sons. I need to be helping them learn from all angles and styles. Thank you for the reminder!
Great article, and great reflection! My son is a wiggler when we read. Always has been, and I fought it for quite a while. One day I read on a homeschool forum that some kids just have to wiggle and stimulate their senses. I now allow my son to manipulate something in his hands, like Thinking Putty, and then I ask him to narrate back, and ask comprehension questions. He almost always can narrate the beginning, middle, and end of the story! I know in our minds it doesn’t make sense, but some kids need to wiggle, or to go get an object like what you are reading about! :)
I have found it necessary to start books with short sessions – perhaps only one sentence to begin with- and then call for a response to the text. This call may be in the form of a question that calls for a physical tactile response or a verbal response. My husband and I noticed our 2nd and 3rd child (both very intelligent) slipped by for a few months/years without really being attentive while we read as a family. This endured until we called them to accountability with calling for a response. This method very quickly turned them into attentive listeners to this day.
Wow, tmasters, thanks so much for this wonderful description of how you handle reading time. These are some great tips that I will have to try with my boys! :)
As a former teacher, I tend to want to push my children sometimes. I am learning to step back and let them lead me. It is frustrating sometimes for my type A personality. I have learned though, if I let them take the lead, we tend to make more progress. They do not learn the way I planned to teach so it is back to the drawing board. Thanks for the post! It is another great reminder for me.
Great article!
I can easily get frustrated with my oldest (age 7) who when reading likes to examine every picture, discuss it, tell stories about it, ask questions about it and ponder it some more before reading the page. But then I pause and marvel at his imagination, insight and then try to gently get him to finish the story by saying something to the effect of “let’s see what the author wants us to know about the picture”.
so grateful for access to wisdom!
I great reminder. I need to change my square peg to a my child’s round hole..
Thanks for reminding us to let the children take some of the lead as they learn!
I agree! I tend to micromanage my daughter’s activities. It’s much better to let her take the lead in areas like this.
My second child would NEVER sit still while I was reading to her and her older sister. She would constantly be bouncing around the room, even singing to herself sometimes. I honestly thought she simply couldn’t pay attention to my reading. Until one day, I overheard her playing with finger puppets….recounting the story we had read that morning almost verbatim. I was simply AMAZED with the level of understanding she portrayed with her puppets. After that day, I was sold….let your little ones learn the way THEY learn best and let go of your preconceived notions of what learning looks like!
Thanks for that! My 3 year old will read for hours and has since he was little. However my one year old will only sit for about 30 seconds.
I am still trying to figure out my 5 year old’s learning style.
I love this reminder to see the world through a child’s eye. I am a teacher and do get caught up in ‘teaching opportunities and structured learning’ and definitely need to open my eyes to moments where children put two and two together or see something differently than me, yet equally valid.
After 6 years of teaching and a couple more as a stay at home mom, I am more convinced than ever that the more we know our students/children, the better we are able to love them into learning. I’m convinced its 90% relationship, 10% academics. Once you have their heart, their minds will be open to what it is you have to teach, and eventually learn. Here’s to hoping more children are appreciated for who they are and not who their parents hope they will be!
I love to see little ones get so involved in reading! The way you describe your little ones, it sounds as if they already do really enjoy it, and that is never a bad thing. It sounds as if they are making that book their own and connecting to it as best they can. What more could you want from such young ones? It sounds very exciting :) Enjoy!
My son used to be super wiggly during storytime, but at age 4, will now sit for long lengths of time to read a good book. I always keep him involved with the story, pausing for him to say the next word, or having him help me tell the story through the pictures.
I love watching how my children learn different things.
Love this post. My firstborn has always wanted to learn as quickly as he can, but I need to step back and let my daughter go at his own pace.
This is an awesome post. I only have one child, but as soon as I figure out how I want to teach a certain topic, she pulls me to it in a completely different way than I had just figured out! In the end though, she is still the brightest star in my sky, no matter how she learns.
And yes, stay away from the Amazon reviews! lol
Great post! My childrens’ books are dog-eared and coverless, too. Those who are now old enough to read for themselves do – and often. Thank you for the reminder to let our children be themselves and to find ways to allow that within the context of what we want accomplished.
I like that your son can spot the similarity and go find a match!
I think it really helps if you let your kids read in their bed at night. They think they’re getting away with something!
This is a great reminder of how our children absorb information. My two girls are very different and yet at times they are the same when it comes to learning. Thanks for reminding me it does not have to be my way.
Reading the article about your little guy reminds me so much of my little guy and makes me think of my other children at this age. The time goes by so fast so sit back and enjoy it while you can!
Thanks for this! Makes perfect sense.
Typing on my phone and that last comment got posted prematurely and in the wrong place. It was in reply to the post about helping our kids learn being 90% relationship. That really speaks to me. Also, just wanted to say that I completely relate to this post, as my youngest (20 months) will not sit still for a book and he’ll even come over and disrupt a reading session with his older brother (4 years)! He will literally try to close the book so we have to stop reading. It’s really frustrating because I have those warm and fuzzy daydreams of being able to cuddle them both under a blanket and read a good book and have them both enthralled, lol. I’m being patient, though, and hoping it will change. In the meantime, I just read with my oldest when my youngest is napping or otherwise engaged. Thanks for reminding me to go with the flow and follow my kids’ lead.
So helpful and encouraging. Thank you! My son never seems to stop moving, which sometimes frustrates me when (like you) I want him to snuggle up and just enjoy the book. But I have been pleasantly surprised several times at how much he really does retain even in the midst of standing on his head or wiggling incessantly. :)
LOVE LOVE LOVE All About Reading!!!
Love this article! good reminder!
Great read to start our day!
As a mom of 5 boys (ages 15, 13, 10, 8, 5) just watch and take your cues from them. Some can sit still while I read aloud and just listen (the auditory learners), others have to be doing something with their hands (kinesthetic), or drawing something (visual) while they listen. As long as they are listening and being quiet so I’m not reading over the noise – I’m ok with that. If they can’t answer the occasional question about what I’m reading – they have to stop what they’re doing because it’s too distracting. I will also add this: They ALL need a break in between subjects!!! Boys need to move, explore, and well be boys!! Sometimes it’s hard for us moms to GET that. Let them be boys, ’cause you really don’t want them acting like a girl!! :o)
Haha! Wise words, Vanessa…thank you!
One of my favorite websites, and book, about raising boys is http://www.raisingrealmen.com/
They have experience with 6 boys – and now 2 girls. Great insights!! :o)
I have girls and they are all very different. My oldest was reading by the time she was 5, the twins weren’t reading well until they were 8 or 9, my 5 year old likes the idea of learning how to read but won’t sit down to learn a letter, the baby will actually let you cuddle and hold her to read a book. I am excited to start AAR.
I can relate! I have 5 children & they all learn different. Some squirm and some snuggle. In my case, my boys seem to be more likely to move around.
Love it!
Kids learn so much more when given a little freedom.
Couldn’t do that at a public school :-)
Im still figuring what kind of learner my daughter is but I can tell you she sure is going to the kinesthetic side…haha
I love this article. Reminds me to step back and observe my boys instead of making them do things my way.
I always feel so frustrated when I don’ t get through the set curriculum and start getting upset with my DS’s behavior interrupting. Your article reminded me I am not the only one who feels this way and that it is okay to stray and let my boys relate to what they are learning. To love learning one must sometimes stop and breathe and enjoy the moment, the books will always be there.
Right on. My 7 yr old son can’t just read the words on the page; he has to discuss and predict and give opinions. I’d like to just get the reading done, but am learning to be patient and let him enjoy it, even if (though!) it takes twice as long. After all, I want him to enjoy reading, not just to be able to do it!
I completely understand! My 10 year old still does this!