Avoiding comparisons is one of the reasons I homeschool. I want my children to be free to celebrate their successes, no matter what anyone else thinks they should or shouldn’t be able to do. My first son learned to read at 4. My second was still struggling at 7. (It was hard not to compare siblings, too!) But AAR was a great program for him because it was fun, varied and made it easy to see progress.

This is so true. When I pulled my son out of private school halfway through first grade, I was discouraged with how far “behind” he seemed compared to the rest of his class, and thought I would never be able to catch him up to grade level. But after only two months of working with him one-on-one with AAR, I was amazed at how much progress he had made in his own abilities from the previous year. I no longer care how his progress compares to other kids, because by the time he reaches the goal (being able to read), it won’t matter anymore!

I struggle with this with my middle child because my oldest learned to read so young and Spelling comes naturally to him.
Looking at where the child started from is definitely helpful.

I often wonder and say to myself….”am I doing enough”…”Is my child actually learning from me?” Thank you for letting me know that I am not the only one who has these worries. I am sometimes too hard on myself and have high expectations from my child….and I need to quit thinking—-Is he keeping up with other kids who would be in the same grade levels in public school. I think I need to step back a little and really take a look at where we are and not worry that I am not doing enough….because I know that he is!

I find it difficult to not compare when others comment on my son. He is advanced in some areas for his age and people focus on that. I remind them that our kids All have areas they excel in and others that will take some work. My son included. Yes he can read and write and spell some at three- but does little social play or pretend play and motor coordination is a little behind. Especially when these comments are made in front of the children- many are old enough to understand- they will compare themselves enough on their own, We as adults don’t need to influence that further.

For the last few years, I have made it a point at the end of the school year to really look at the progress each child has made this year in each subject. Even if it is just a little progress, it IS progress! And that encourages me as the teacher. We homeschoolers sometimes have to be our own cheerleaders. So look for the progress, and celebrate!

Yes, this happens to all of us. Even public school parents compare.

You could not have posted this at a better time. It is so discouraging to fall into the Big Pit of Dispair. Thanks for reminding us to “look back”. 2 years ago I sat in my bathroom bawling because my child, who has a severe speech disorder, wasn’t finally able to simply SAY her letters. Now she can say their sounds with ease and can read the first 4 stories in her AAR book. It’s taken a long time to get there, but she has gotten there!

Great reminder. We seem to be surrounded by kids who quickly and easily teach themselves to read, while for my kids it has been one of the biggest learning challenges of our lives, taking years of direct instruction. It’s very easy to give in to frustration, and also regret that I didn’t start AAR from the beginning, but wasted time on other failed methods that only made things worse.

I love this!! I have read many times over my homeschooling years… do not compare your child to someone else’s. Comparison is the thief of joy for you and your child.

I was beginning to fall into that pit. Thanks for the reminder and encouragement to look at the big picture. When I did that, I saw the progress that has been made.

We just started with Pre-Reading this year with my son. He is my oldest and I am excited and nervous about our new adventure in homeschooling. Since he is my oldest I think I have a greater tendency to worry if he is where he “should be” but this article and many others on this blog have been so encouraging to relax and enjoy instead. He is doing great and just about to start level 1 now. I have noticed a lot of growth in the past week or so and it also amazes me how much his two sisters have learned just by watching and listening along side!

We started using AAR in January, and I must say that we absolutely love it. My son loves checking off on his progress chart, he loves the activity sheets, and he loves that he actually has a ‘chapter book to read’… He still struggles with reading, but I find that the lessons really help him. Today he learned how to chop a word in two ( compound words), he looks for the 2 vowels, and finds the two syllables.. and bingo!… it really helps him… lately he even got his own first readers at the library, without me pushing him to do it… So I say that is HUGE improvement.. basically he is growing in confidence! thank you so much! your books are amazing!

I struggle with this all the time. My child went through KG at a public school and was going to have to repeat…so we homeschooled him (he wasn’t happy at all there, and needed more individual attention). He is already a grade behind, but yet very tender about learning so I don’t want to push too much. We’ve been homeschooling a year and a half and, he’s a little behind for first grade, which worries me becaue 1st is already a grade behind where he would have been if he had progressed normally. I tell myself he can catch up later but wonder if I’m teaching him as well as I could be.

I fall into the big pit because my daughter never wants to reason and when she does, she prefers small books with few words that she can finish quickly. One of our successes is that she can read well above her age level.

Thank you so much for this article. Wow! You must have been in my vehicle this morning. I was thinking just as you stated. How Far… Thanks for the encouragement. I needed to see that. Look back at the progress. How do you keep the self-esteem up? Academics is a big part of that. Thanks for the moments to pause and come out of the pit. Reach up again and look back how I can bring myself out of the “Big Pit.” Can only imagine how our child may feel as well. Thanks! Live and Love.

This is such a timely blog post for me. I’M finally making some progress in backing up from the pit! YAY! It is so hard not to compare my children with others because as their mom AND teacher, I feel such enormous pressure to equip them to feel successful in all subjects, but especially reading and spelling. Thank you for more encouragement to put my eyes backward more than I put them forward! I know my children will enjoy that perspective much more!

Good reminders! I do have one of those 11 year olds who have younger brothers/sisters who have learned how to read more easily than she did, and who now surpass her reading skills. She has definitely improved in just this past year, and I like to point out how quickly she read her page in comparison to her speed “last year.” Focusing on her progress helps her to see it too. She too easily can compare herself to her younger siblings all on her own….There’s no need for me to do that for her.

Thank you for the kind reminder. All About Spelling has been amazing for us. My son was an early reader and can read virtually anything that I put in front of him. When he turned 8 years old this fall he was still unable to spell or write (anything!). I tried using other curriculum in the past, but nothing seemed to work. He was reluctant and lacked confidence to write anything but his first name. He could not even spell cat or dog, and would become stumped if I asked him how to spell “me” or “I”. In just two months of using All About Spelling he can spell and write hundreds of words, and we are only on level one. I am excited to continue with Level two! I can’t thank you enough for creating All About Spelling!

This was such a good article and really helped me with my son. I definitely have had high ideals for him! I am now going to take the time to appreciate how far he has come! What great advice. I love the emails we get from you about the blogs the topic always seems to come as it is needed, much appreciated! This is my first year home schooling and I need all the advice and encouragement I can get. Thank You!

Our kids love the reading activities in AAR. My girl tries to get to the activities before the lesson. She is learning to be patient and wait after the lesson. Spelling is working wonders for both my 1st and 3rd graders. They are getting the concepts very easily. I has been great for me also for both of this programs have improve my English. Reading and Spelling were the two subjects that I dreaded the most when we started homeschooling. Your program have made it very easy for me to teach these two subjects. The item that helps me the most is your Basic Phonograms CD ROM. If I can not pronounce a sound correctly then I go and listen to the phonograms. If I still can not pronounce it correctly I just have the kids listen to it. I has been an awesome experience to teach with your program!

Oh, how I need this post so much today. My son has a speech disorder, and though I try and remember how hard he is working on his speech and how much progress he is making, it is so hard to not see how far he still has to go, especially when I hear his peers or even kiddos younger than him talking so much better than him.

Hi! i can not thank you enough for your program. My grandson is six years old and has struggled with reading. I have tried numerous programs and all to no avail. He is so excited to do his work each day. I have compared him to his brother who was reading by this age of six and realized it was not fair to the younger. I am learning each works at their own level. Their autism has been difficult for each brother. Thank you for having the insight and courage to produce this awesome product!!

I like the big picture idea. I like to know what I’d like to see at the end, but set smaller goals to meet in between the beginning and ending points. That way both my child and I can see the progress being made.

I am super glad you gave us this post on “the big pit”. I have continually wondered about every concern you listed. I get anxious and I know it shows in my emotions especially when my child often needs rule reminders. However, looking at what he has learned is far more important than worrying about an ideal! You always know how to keep encouraging us! God Bless You! AAS changed are life in a great way!]

Thank you for the encouraging article! Just one question… What does a fluency practice sheet consist of? Fluency is a key area we are working on and I’m always looking for ways to gone in on that area.

Thank you!
Laurie Chevallier

I use AAS for 3 years now and have seen great progress with my daughter. She has dyslexia and it is very difficult for her to spell correctly and retain the information. I love the way the program works, the only thing I have issues with is that she doesn’t seem to show a lot of progress in one school year. This article was a great encouragement to me and helped me to remember to stop and appreciate the progress she makes. Thanks for developing the AAS program.

With a dyslexic son, this is a trap I fall into often. I’m so thankful for your supportive staff to keep me on track! My 3rd grader is in Level 2 of reading and spelling, and is making wonderful progress with your programs.